It seems that it is easy to live when you set goals in your life. Goals like: to graduate from school with a gold medal, going to work in bank, having a wealthy pretty wife and running half marathon in time 01:40. – Everything is not so simple. I got the school somehow graduated, I am going to work having mixed-feelings and the working place does not lie even close to the bank, in love life I am a freelancer and the half marathon I did not also run in time 1:40. I feel a bit lousy because the rest of the stuff I could fix step by step but to fix the time of the Tallinn half marathon I have to wait another year.
Actually this is the third year in a row when the misfortune follows me. This time the disappointment was not so big like last year but still I have cried to my pillow “buckets of tears” the whole week. I have made many calculations on the paper and still a voice whispers in my head:” Sooo, what went wrong again?” In order to clear my head I try to write it all here like an explanatory statement or something like that.
The night before the competition was calm with just a few turns side to side. I did not also use any performance drugs because I am quite sure that an oatmeal is still allowed. I did not eat up anything else that morning.
I began the run with very reasonable tempo, I would say that it was rather slow because it took 5:15 to come through with a kilometer. Not like it would be possible to make “excellent speed” in that kind crowd – besides I have not trained for running a slalom. After the second kilometer I continued with my own tempo and now it took around 4:30-4:40 per/kilometer. At 9th or 9th km I met a friend on the running track. – Of course I had to give my greetings. I am sure that I lost some valuable time there 😊. In park Kopli I felt some ill-being but fortunately it passed quickly. Unfortunately rest of the run felt boring for me – there were no people to pass anymore. Sometimes I had the same feeling like during regular exercise. 😊 All of these tracks are also part from my usual route when I prepare and exercise for competitions. This made some disservice for me.
At Balti jaam I felt that my stronger leg is tired. At Rannamäe tee rise I walked and it happened also during the last two kilometers. The final time this year was 01:43:48 which is definitely better than last year but still I wished so badly to run in time 01:40 or lesser time even. My new record at Tallinn run did not comfort me at all because I had a sort of a “burnout “ and I will feel as a failure at least the whole year.